Sex addiction is a medical illness—a dysregulation of brain chemistry—indicated by irrational thinking and compulsive sexuality. It is diagnosed with specific criteria by trained professionals. Essentially, the sex addict has lost the ability to choose to stop and his or her addiction is in control. Just as an alcoholic has a compulsion to drink, despite the fact that it is creating serious problems in his or her life, the sex addict has a compulsion to mood alter with sexual behaviors even when he or she risks health, marriage, job or financial stability.
Sex addiction in all its forms indicates an intimacy disorder because it is not about having a real relationship with another person. It is about having a significant relationship with a mood altering sexual behavior because the addict is incapable of a relationship with a real person! In fact, the other person, if there is one involved, is an “object” for the sex addict who can be readily replaced if needed.
Each sex or love addict usually has a few preferred behaviors. The categories of behaviors which may become compulsive for addicts are
- excessive fantasy and masturbation
- affairs and one night stands
- cybersex which includes Internet porn, sex and romance chat rooms, online phone sex and escort services, sex encounters via webcam, cruising for sex on dating sites, and downloading child porn
- exhibitionism or voyeurism
- seductive role sex (in which the addict counterfeits intimacy to get arousal from power, control and admiration)
- trading sex
- paying for sex
- intrusive sex (violating sex boundaries without consequences)
- anonymous sex
- pain exchange sex
- exploitive sex (taking advantage of vulnerable people by seduction or force)
If you have lost the ability to choose to stop certain sexual behaviors, if others are complaining about your sexual behaviors or you feel the need to hide your sexual behaviors from others, you may have a sex addiction. Discuss your concerns with a qualified addiction specialist or Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in your area. We now have effective treatment based on clinical experience and brain research.
Sex Addiction Overview
